Everywhere I turn I’m being confronted with the idea that a family isn’t a family if it doesn’t have kids in it. Mostly people saying “I can’t wait to have a family” when what they really mean is having kids. A friend of mine from work once went to a “family party” with his own family, only to realize once he got there that what it really meant was it was a party for kids.
I find this insulting on two levels. First of all, are you saying your husband, wife, parents, brothers, sisters, cousins etc aren’t family when you say “I can’t wait to have a family”? What are they to you then? Oh, they’re not your “own” family? YES THEY ARE. What you mean to say is you don’t have kids. Don’t undermine your family because they are not your children.
I also find this insulting because these people are also implying that I don’t have a family. What exactly would you call Mike then? We’re married. Sounds like family to me. I also have pets that I love dearly, three parents, four grandparents, a brother, and a ton of aunts, uncles, and cousins. I’m very close to my cousin Jenna and I love her to death. And they want to say (imply, at least) that I don’t have a family because I don’t have kids? I have two words for them. FUCK YOU.
I have a family thank you very much. A big one. A great one. So does everybody, kids or not. You have a right to take your place at the family table. You’re just as good as anyone else. Your life isn’t about to begin, it already has. You are loved, and that’s good enough for me.
This is an unusual sort of post for this blog, but being childfree is a huge part of my life. I feel a responsibility to share this because way too many women continue to have kids for the sole reason that “that’s just what you do.” I want it to be known that this is a choice, an absolutely valid one, and for many people the best one. I often get asked why I don’t want kids, and it’s hard for me to answer besides saying “every reason there is.” What are those reasons? I’m going to be really blunt. But this is my decision. My opinions do not represent the childfree community as a whole. I also don’t disrespect parents. Just people who became parents for the wrong reasons, and parents who are bad at it.
On with it.
1. Tokophobia. The idea of pregnancy and childbirth is a huge turnoff, and it actually scares me. I’ve had nightmares. I won’t feel comfortable unless either Mike or I become sterilized. I would go through almost any means for this to happen.
2. The environment. The world is disgustingly overpopulated. Quite honestly I feel that having kids when there are over 7 billion people on this earth fighting for resources is just plain irresponsible .
3. I hate kids. It’s a negative stereotype of the childfree that they hate kids, but in my case it happens to be a true one. This does not mean I want to hurt them. It does mean I find them for the most part to be stupid, annoying, and boring, and I’d rather not be around them. I’ve met a small handful of kids I can think of whose company I enjoyed.
4. I can’t afford it. Kids are really insanely expensive. Having the attitude of “it’s ok, the government will give me money for them” is the same as saying “Why work? I’ll just go on welfare, sucka!” and one I find deeply disturbing. It’s a myth that childfree people have a ton of money. I think the majority of people cannot legitimately afford having kids. “Making it work” doesn’t count. If you are constantly in need of a sale and pinching pennies wherever you can, life sucks, and that also means it sucks for your kid. More so, because they didn’t choose this, they don’t understand this, and other kids are cruel. I don’t mean you need to be rich, but at least have enough money to avoid them going through junior high in an oversized “Just Say No” tshirt like I did. College alone is way too much. If I could afford that I would enroll myself. But I can’t, and neither could my parents. There goes a meaningful future.
5. I would be a shitty parent. I have a dog and if I didn’t believe that animal abuse is wrong I would have strangled her long ago, and that’s just a dog. Any kid of mine would suffer from neglect, resentment, and possibly emotional abuse. I’m not selfish enough to put a kid through that.
6. I’m not selfish. Go play in traffic if you call me that, unless you’ve adopted. I believe in adoption. Way too many kids out there need families while people who want to be parents are too busy replicating themselves instead of helping them. Newsflash: Your genetics are not superior. Who do you think you are?
7. Because I’m not selfish. By this entry I mean that I will not have a kid so that it can have a job to do to serve me. I will not have a kid just so I have someone who MIGHT take care of me when I’m old. I will not have a kid to “fix” my marriage. I will not have a kid to be fulfilled. If an adult cannot do these things on their own then they have a lot of growing to do still as people, and getting a baby to do it is pure stupidity.
8. kids are harmful to marriages. This is a proven fact. My marriage is great, and I’d like to keep it that way. I married Mike because I actually really enjoy spending time with him, not so I could treat him like a sperm donor.
9. I am very easily grossed out.
10. I have shame. I’m not willing to spread my legs and shit on a bed in front of a room full of people.
11. I have much better things to do than changing diapers, buying obnoxious toys, and cutting nail polish out of the carpet. Mainly educating myself, sharing knowledge, reading, writing, traveling, having other experiences. Having a great career. Contributing to the world.
12. My kid, as any, would be much less likely to become a doctor than a garbage man, sandwich artist, or criminal.
13. Aside from all the resource hogging, each human being in a first world country produces over 24 tons of CO2 in their lifetime. Then there’s their kids, and their kids, and their kids. It’s amazing how much damage a person can do.
14. Shitmykidsruined.com
15. Because I don’t feel it’s some super special magical thing. Even bugs have babies. What’s really special is using your brain and your unique talents to better serve the world.
16. Five minutes of Treehouse makes me lose my goddamn mind. And according to modern parents, kids are the all mighty rulers of the remote control 24/7. Mommy and daddy aren’t even allowed to watch the news or the precious babies will cry for the Wiggles.
17. Other parents. Have you seen the episode of The Simpsons where Marge is trying to satisfy the other moms at play dates and they freak out and catch an ambulance when the kids drink out of a cup with a number 7? That. Kids are overprotected and worshiped instead of actively molded into intelligent, kind, productive members of society. Kids should not be the boss of their parents, and this is what’s happening in modern families. They’re coddled, given their way, and awarded trophies just for showing up.
18. Other kids. Kids who get trophies just for showing up. Self-involved selfish little brats. They all treat each other so shockingly badly. I don’t want anyone to go through that hell. It was bad enough when I was a kid and there was still some tiny sense of human decency left. I got teased and made fun of in a brutal way, but nobody ever texted my naked picture to the whole school or threw me into a dumpster.
19. Non-parents have a lot more time and a little more money to volunteer and donate to worthy causes. One day I would like to be a tutor (although even volunteer tutors these days seem to need teaching degrees, so the hunt is not going well) or big sister.
20. It doesn’t last 18 years. It lasts FOREVER. I think a lot of parents would be better at it if they went into it actually acknowledging this.
If you’ve made it this far without being offended, thanks for being awesome 🙂 I’d like to close with a quote from https://childfreefeminist.wordpress.com
“It means being free of the dogma of a historic, ancient patriarchal society that believes women are only as good as their wombs. It means being free to choose what you want in your own life–whether that is to be a farmer in Singapore or a doctor in London. Being childfree means being free to do what you want with your time, your money and your body. It means being free of the silly politics of parenting. It means being free of being mindless consumerists with children products being shoved down your throats. It means being free of worrying about pedophiles, drugs, teenage pregnancy, teen suicide, bullying and another person’s political and moral choices that are beyond your control. It means being free to think for yourself.”
This is a question I’ve been asking myself for a long time. Everyone knows I despise sexy halloween costumes almost more than anything else. I really really do. But when I was asked this question for a feminist podcast I was confronted with the opinion that my strong distaste for this might be decidedly unfeminist. Shouldn’t women be allowed to express themselves sexually however they want? Isn’t it part of the problem that this sort of thing is so stigmatized and negatively labelled “slutty”?
Well I was reading an article on the lingerie addict and it made a totally great point. If you’re wearing your sexuality as a costume, doesn’t that say something about us as a society? You’re not owning your sexuality, you’re using it as a one night a year disguise. If you truly own your sexuality, you should be free to express it every night of the year. Dressing up sexy only on halloween turns the whole thing into a joke, and I feel like this does the opposite of what many feminists think it does. You just don’t dress up as yourself for a halloween costume. Sexuality isn’t supposed to be put in such a ridiculous light. I’m not saying you need to take it super seriously all the time, but this is just giving the wrong impression. We shouldn’t need to use halloween as an excuse to express this part of ourselves. I think this is contributing to why “slutty” is seen as a bad thing. I hope I’m being eloquent enough to get my point across here, I’m not always so sure I am.
The second thing I want to mention once again is what I’ve been saying forever. Halloween is supposed to be a scary time. If you fill it with strippers dressed like bumblebees, you’re taking all the fun out. Well, the kind of fun halloween is supposed to be anyway. Scary stuff is awesome. Fear is a very primal emotion, and it’s exciting. And if you really insist on the whole “sexy” part of it, it can even be a powerful aphrodisiac. If you take the scary out of halloween, what exactly are you left with? This holiday is going to die. Why would you want the most awesome day of the year to die??
What I propose is not my idea. I read it on another blog years ago. But it’s that we separate this whole business into two holidays. If women really feel the need to be all shy and demure 364 days of the year, let there be some kind of sexy holiday in the heat of august. Not Valentine’s day, but just a day where you can ho it up like nobody’s business. Sure, I’d take a bite of that. Let your inner slut shine. Then give halloween back to it’s spooky roots. This would be better for everyone.
But really, don’t be ashamed to express your sexuality in appropriate ways all year round. The ways to do this are so many I can’t even begin to get into it. But let me just say that you can ooze sexuality every minute of the day without looking trashy or inviting a sexual harassment lawsuit. You don’t have to show a lot of skin, you don’t have to bump and grind. It’s about your essence and how you feel about and carry yourself, and if you want to wear stilettos and a micro mini out to da club on the weekends do it up. Just don’t be stupid and freeze your ass off doing it outdoors in a Canadian late October.
Have you noticed that a lot of companies are claiming to be trying to broaden the definition of beauty lately by using girls about 2 sizes bigger than their normal girls? Have you seen all the debates about what does and does not accomplish this fact? I agree with most of what’s being said. Showing a beautiful size 6 girl and calling her “real” because she’s not a size 2 is a big load of hypocrisy. But you know what else? I know what I’m saying might be controversial here, but…
It’s not their job to promote beauty ideals. Should it be? Maybe. But my response to all of this hoopla is simply that while a size 10 woman with a B-cup and tattoos might be a mighty fine woman, it doesn’t sell products. In case anyone missed this part, companies of all kinds exist to make money. That’s it. Whether or not you agree with what is and is not beautiful about the women in their ads, the fact is that a majority of people would rather aspire to look like these “not-real” (barf) women, and therefore aspire to buy the product and spend their money. That’s the job of a business. Sell shit. Not make you feel better about yourself. Because if you feel better about yourself you don’t need them. No money is made, they have no jobs, and then they can feel bad about themselves while making for a pretty shit economy.
Now you could of course argue that it’s better marketing to be able to see yourself in the product. You should be able to relate to this model in some way in order to see it as being the right product for you. This is true, but only to an extent. Why? Because you will never look anything like 99.99% of the models you see. You’ll maybe find one or two ever, if any at all. This goes for whether you’re a porn-tastic blond or an average older lady sitting behind a desk all day. Everybody is different. A lot different. So sure a few women might see this model and say “wow, she looks like me, and with this product she looks fantastic,” but the majority of women will STILL think “I look nothing like that so what’s the point?” They can’t please everyone, but they have to do their best by appealing to as many people as possible, and so this means finding what is the most universally considered attractive. If you don’t agree with what they find attractive, well, I assure you they have years of college training and experience that will tell you it’s working despite your opinion. So they’re going to continue. They’re going to keep making money while you keep complaining and basing how you feel about yourself on some random touched-up shot.
I’m not saying you should feel bad about yourself for the sake of filling someone else’s pockets, quite the contrary. I’m just playing devil’s advocate here and reminding you all where these advertisers are coming from and why they continue to do this. Now if they start promoting anything besides the typical supermodel look, sure, you might think, “gee, that company has integrity. Good on them!” But will you buy their crap? Chances aren’t quite as good unless some part of your subconscious still wants what they have, because it thinks they’re better than you. It’s YOUR job, with the assistance of family and friends etc, to keep your self-esteem in check. Not Victoria’s Secret. If you let a few advertisements destroy your self image then a smaller butt isn’t going to fix it.
TL:DR: I fully agree with what you all have to say about the hypocrisy of all this etc. But the thing is, it’s not really the point. These companies exist to make money, and they can only do that by making you feel on some level that their models and the lifestyle they promote are better than yours. That’s how all of this works. If you think you’re just fine without their stuff then you won’t buy it. Sure it’s not sunshine and rainbows, but it’s the harsh, cold world we live in. Self-esteem is your own responsibility.
How often do you call customer service? Do you like your experiences? Are they super awful? Well, I work in a high level of that field, and I’ve found in my experience that you may actually be contributing to this. I don’t mean that in a bias way, I mean I’ve noticed a lot of people just making things a lot harder on themselves. Here are some things you really need to know.
Don’t call outside in the wind/at a party/when there’s a baby screaming on your lap/with the tv volume cranked. This is the most simple one, I can’t believe people can’t figure this out. THEY CAN’T HEAR YOU. This frustration is completely unnecessary.
Chill the fuck out. Pretty much nothing going wrong is the fault of the person you’re speaking with, unless it’s just plain rude behavior. If they had that much control over the inner workings of the company they wouldn’t be sitting in a little cubicle listening to you scream at them. Believe it or not they would rather solve your problem and make life great instead of take shit, but sometimes it just can’t be done. They’re not god, and they didn’t even design the programs they use. if they say they can’t do something, they simply can’t, and no amount of whining is going to change that. Their supervisor can’t do it either. Let them do their job to the best of their ability and then try to have a nice day.
Try to speak clearly. Every agent I know is extremely patient. But know the best way to explain what it is you’re asking for. When you have no idea of the most basic terminology for your problem, or refuse to give much detail, not very much is going to get done. They’re not mind readers.
Recognize who it is you’re supposed to call. Just an example from personal experience here, but asking the bank why your payroll didn’t come in is like asking your garage why your car isn’t working. They just don’t know. They have nothing to do with it. They also have nothing to do with the fact that you got ripped off on eBay. They are not the grand overlords of money. Leave them alone and call the person who is actually responsible.
Realize that not everything is free. Here’s another example from my own industry. People are constantly laughing and bitching about how ridiculous it is to have to pay the bank for access to your own money. That’s NOT what you’re paying for. Banks provide you the service of a convenient and safe place to keep and keep track of your finances. They also greatly facilitate dozens of different types of transactions between you, companies, and other people. They are not a charity, and that really shouldn’t be news to you. They have hundreds to thousands of employees and they don’t work for free any more than you do. If you don’t want to pay the banks, keep your money in a sock under your mattress and see how well the direct deposit works out.
Pay attention. Speaking of paying attention, I’ve realized that most issues arise not when people are lazy or out to get you, but because people do NOT pay attention. Read contracts, they’re there for a reason and I promise there will be nothing there about sewing someone’s ass to your face. You don’t even so much have to read the big long scary ones because anything very important that affects you should be explained clearly and in full by the employee you’re dealing with. Yes, they DID tell you. You just dozed off because it was boring. Better boring than cost you a lot of money. Access to important information is very easy, just a click or phone call away. No excuses. I even seem to remember about a year ago during the mail strike nobody was paying their credit card bills because they weren’t getting the mail, but didn’t bother to simply call and ask how much was due and put through a payment. On that same note, the company is not your babysitter.
There is no big conspiracy. I’m serious. Lay off the drugs and put away your sandwich board. You sound like a crazy person.
Come prepared. When you know the company you’re calling is going to request that you answer some security questions, or have your account/reference number etc ready, KNOW YOUR SHIT. It’s one thing to spend a minute looking for numbers in your wallet, but another when you don’t know even the first thing about your own profile/accounts and then get pissed off when the agent can’t proceed to help. Security questions are there for a reason, and these companies are not your babysitters. If you have no idea what you’re even paying for, you’re irresponsible, plain and simple. This all comes back once again to paying attention. See now, this is why you’re paying weird fees.
I have one last thing to say here, something very important. They WILL hold your hand, IF you reach out to them kindly. It will not happen all by itself. You will not be coddled like a baby. I can handle all the “dumb” questions in the world without an ounce of judgement if they don’t have a bad attitude or sense of entitlement to go with them. Fuck, I’ll even repeat the answer 20 times with sincere patience if I have to. Seriously, we love to help. What we don’t love is being treated like a punching bag or worthless desk/phone jockey. Have a little respect.
Thank you for reading, and let’s all hope that these little day to day interactions can be just that much more pleasant.
I’m married. Contrary to what some people might assume, I didn’t marry my brother. I just kept my last name. To me it’s not a big deal that I kept it, I wasn’t trying to be oh so progressive or anything. But it does bug me that so many people have that “that’s just what you do” attitude about changing it and don’t think twice about it. It kind of reeks of brainwashing, no?
I don’t mind if a woman takes her husband’s last name, but I do feel it needs to be an active decision and not a thoughtless assumption. You could even go a whole different route and choose/invent a whole new name for yourselves. I once heard about a couple who chose the name Dragonwagon. How cool is that? Anyway, it just doesn’t make sense to me for any person’s identity to take precedence over another’s. And yes, your last name is *usually* a pretty big part of your identity. I feel like to take Mike’s last name would negate my own family history and where I came from, and instead label me a German. But I’m not German. It’s weird enough I have an Irish first name and I’m not even Irish. My Grandma actually said she wished she could have kept her name (it was law to take the husband’s back then) because she got so irritated at people assuming she was French. And nationality is just the most basic, easy-to-write-about-and-explain part of it. It’s your whole history. If you’re adopted and you don’t know your family’s history, or you’re ashamed of it or whatever, you still may choose to keep it as a label that represents YOU as a person. I’m not at all willing to have part of me erased or ignored, even just as a word on paper. Especially so it can be pushed aside or covered up by somebody else as though they’re somehow more important. My husband is not above me, and while I joke about him taking my last name, I’m not above him either. We are who we are, it’s not going to change, so why make any move to show that it did?
Now the kid thing, well, people often argue that kids feel all insecure about having a different last name than their parents. Maybe that’s true for some of them, but personally it’s never been an issue for me. My mom went back to her maiden name when I was really young, and then changed to a new married name very soon after that, so I can hardly remember a time I had the same last name as either of the parents I lived with. And I totally did not give a shit. I never thought twice about it. It was the 90s, divorce was looking more and more like the in thing, and it was absolutely normal. And guess what? It’s still normal. It’s more abnormal to have a lasting marriage. So don’t start worrying about ridiculous things like people assuming you’re not really a family and you’re a bunch of slutty weirdos. You should have learned this when you were 6, families come in many forms. Mine is 2 people with different last names, and 3 cats each with their own fake last name. We’re the Bergeron-Dyck-Sawchuckson-Candide-(…Oh crap Mouse doesn’t have a last name! Let’s call her Haus)Haus household. Mouse Haus. Hehe.
Anyway, also on the subject of kids, it also irritates me when it’s just assumed the kids have to have the father’s name. It’s not a rule you know. That should also be an actively made decision. The mother is just as much a parent as the father, and she’s the one who had to carry the kids in her body for 9 months. Makes sense to me for them to have her name. But whatever you choose, you need to be actually choosing it, for an actual reason, not just doing it because hey whatever. I think that’s really insulting yourself. It’s a good thing me and Mike aren’t going to have any kids, because I know for a fact this is something we would majorly fight over. Unless we just agreed to call them Haus.
I’ve read a few times in magazines and online articles lately how the word “girl” is unfeminist, that it implies we’re small, insignificant, and not actually women. That the word Girl is somehow demeaning.
I happen to strongly disagree.
I actually really like the word Girl. I like it a lot. You know why? Because it takes us back to a time when we could do anything. When you’re a girl, you have your whole life ahead of you, and nobody is going to stop you no matter how wild your aspirations are. When you grow up and become a woman, suddenly you’re living in the real world and you’re all business. You have to watch the news and go to the bank and buy gross healthy food. Fuck that. I want to hold on to Girl. I want to stay up way too late and play dress-up and eat giant ridiculous sundaes. I want to keep all my creativity and imagination. I want to keep all my options for the future open. And I want to glorify and appreciate adulthood like only a kid can. I want to be grown up without losing any of that fun and sparkle and all those dreams I had. Anything is possible. I’m living life to the fullest. That’s what being a girl is all about.
The universe works in mysterious ways. Here I was, worrying that my blog here appeared shallow and vapid to a good number of the people reading it, especially since my cousins started blogging about their babies and even cancer. I was feeling pretty insecure. Then somebody on a childfree group I’m in posted this. I mean right at that moment. Too weird, right? Maybe it is ok that I just write about some of the things I enjoy, it’s no big deal, and it’s enough for me to know that no matter where my interests lie, it does not make me a shallow one-dimensional person, even if others somehow miss that. Because those people would be idiots and that’s not my problem. http://inoveryourhead.net/the-complete-guide-to-not-giving-a-fuck/
Calling all People of Walmart, it’s RANT TIME!! An open letter to people who can’t be bothered to put real clothes on in public. Clearly I feel strongly about this. VERY strongly. For the record, I’m not angry. I’m not even in a bad mood. I just made myself some spicy cheesy soup and I’m enjoying my day off. Instead I’m disgusted. For Christ sakes…
Come on guys, really? Sweatpants and pajamas OUTSIDE the house? You have all got to be kidding me.
You look ridiculous. You look like a defeated George Costanza, and there’s nothing cute about that. Please, for the love of god just stop. Every time I see this I wonder how people could disrespect themselves and the people around them so much that they can’t be bothered to perform such a basic human function. Did I somehow miss the memo that today was Pajama Day in the spirit week of the world?
This shit is not ok. You look GROSS.
You say it’s about comfort. Um, did I just hear that right? You’re so very delicate you can’t handle real actual clothes of any kind? Time to call your mommy and have her drive you to the doctor, because that makes me think there is something very wrong with you. People in care homes dress better than this. I know, I’ve worked in one.
It’s not even JUST about looks. If it was I wouldn’t care. Your incomprehensibly bad taste is none of my business. But this is just pathetic, rude, and beyond inappropriate. It also makes me wonder how you handle having a job. That requires more than actual clothes, it requires a little dignity. It requires respect for the people around you. It requires effort, and motivation to do even more than just get dressed in the morning.
Real clothes are not that hard to do. Real clothes are not that harsh or uncomfortable. Real clothes do not mean donning a ball gown or a tuxedo. There are only a few instances when pajamas or sweatpants in public are ok. Being physically disabled, being very ill, or being at the gym. Maybe if you’ll be swinging through a drive-thru and won’t be getting out of the car you can let it slide. Oh yeah, and Pajama Day during spirit week. Knock yourselves out.
A sexy beast, this one.
Seriously guys, you look like complete idiots. Even my laid back anti-fashion husband in the ripped jeans and old tshirts gets catty and makes fun of you. A lot.
This is just beyond sad. Where exactly will we go from here? Can anybody explain this in some way that makes sense? Speak up and redeem the whole confusing group? And don’t you DARE say the word “comfortable.”
This girl knows what’s up
And P.S., those tight little buns on the tops of your heads make you look like a deranged teletubbie.
Now go on and be offended, you’re clearly very delicate.
I just want to say that I don’t believe there is any such thing as “wardrobe essentials.” Aren’t you sick of hearing about these over and over? It’s always the same things. Black pants, jeans, White button down shirt, LBD, etc etc. But look, obviously we’re not all so much the same. The last time I wore a white button down was at least 6 years ago. Essential? Not so much. I only own jeans for cold and very lazy days. Some of you might not have either of those. As we all know from reading this blog, simple casual dresses are at least as easy, if not more than jeans, and that’s something I will endlessly preach until they day they invent something better. And the LBD, while nice and useful, did not enter my wardrobe for some time. I still don’t think I need one. The little RED dress, that’s where it’s at.
The point is, you don’t need other people to tell you what to buy or what to wear. You can accept help on what makes it easier and what looks very nice, but to use the word “essential” and parade it out there like you’re fashionably deficient if you don’t have these things is just stupid. You need to figure out what YOUR essentials are based on what you like and what your lifestyle is. Hell, maybe that means scrubs in your favorite color. For example, heels are a major essential for me. Anything else falls in the category of slippers, whether appropriate for outside the house or not. You may not feel even remotely this way. Fun, glamorous, versatile dresses are my biggest essential of all. But while I think you should definitely TRY these things, if they’re not for you they’re not for you. If you fight against this it’s going to accomplish just the opposite of what these people preaching “essentials” say they will. You won’t feel put together, you’ll just feel weird and uncomfortable.
How can you figure out what your essentials are? It’s as easy of thinking of your favorite things. What do you gravitate to every day, what do you love, what makes you happy? Think of this in a fairly simple way. Not “the pinstripe pants with the chain on the hip” but maybe “funky/dressy separates.” It should be stuff that really encompasses the essence of who you are while allowing for plenty of variation. Most importantly, don’t be afraid to experiment a little outside this territory either. It’s the key to really evolving your style and your image of yourself. If it feels wrong, don’t worry about it. But it just might feel very right, and then you’ve taken a step forward and discovered something new. How exciting is that? This way you let yourself be your own style guide. You’re better than being told what to do by TV and magazines. They don’t know you. You do.
Come on guys, really? Sweatpants and pajamas OUTSIDE the house? You have all got to be kidding me.
Skirting The Issue 