I’ve been dying my hair red for about 7 years now (wow, has it really been that long?) and I’m often asked how I manage to achieve this color, including when it’s faded. While I still think there could be room for improvement, what I have going so far is quite good. However it is a bit…complicated.

So where do I start?

I used to buy box dyes. It seems like the obvious choice. But while looking through the “reds” section, I can’t help but feel like the people who pick the shades need to go back to kindergarten and revisit the color wheel. Dull auburn is not red, guys. It’s little more than a very warm brown. How exactly did you get your jobs again?

So because this color would start out “almost red” and quickly fade to “not at all red”, I would occasionally punch it up with some manic panic. This would be gorgeous for about, oh, four days. The bathroom redecoration on the other hand would last for weeks. Waste of money indeed. So then a very smart and beautiful friend of mine told me to get Punky Color instead. This happened to be around the time the 24 hour drug store down the street started carrying it, so it couldn’t have been more convenient.

Everyone’s hair is different, so you may have to try a few brands to find the best one for you, but on me this was ideal. This shit does NOT fade. After 2 months my color is definitely more subtle, but it’s still obviously red, and in high quality photos is shows up as bright as the day it was done.

There is only one issue here, and amusingly enough the beauty consultants at the drug store seem to have no idea about this. Veggie dye does not contain developer, so it doesn’t exactly work on virgin hair, i.e. my roots. In general it is expected that you will bleach your hair first, so it will be damaged enough to hold the color and have a nice light base so it comes out really bright. I find bleach harsher than I would like, using it makes me nervous, so I dye my roots blond. This is something I just started this fall, but it seems to be working. The red turns out much brighter on my roots than the faded-box-dye-brown of the rest of my hair. When root touch up no longer covers all my new growth adequately, I’ll do an entire box dye process of light strawberry blond before going over with the Punky.

Important note: You cannot dye your hair blond if it’s not at least light brown already. Why? Box dyes work by stripping (hence the the developer) your color and depositing their own color in one step. But they don’t contain enough developer to lift your hair more than 2 or so shades. If you actually want to go blond you will likely have to bleach it to yellow and THEN dye it. Though I would strongly recommend seeing a professional if you don’t like the sound of it turning orange. But I digress. If your hair isn’t light already, just use bleach. Bleaching your hair will take it through red and orange stages anyway, so it doesn’t have to be that strong. Just enough to damage it a bit and brighten it up to a good base level.

And now the big secret: Red veggie dyes fade either pink or orange, and most people don’t really want that or they would have dyed it pink or orange in the first place. The best way to avoid either is to mix an orange-red with a pink-red. Yes, you can do that with veggie dyes! They cancel each other out and fade gorgeously, to a soft rose red. Now when I go to the store and buy a box of blond root touch up, an orange-red, and a pink-red, people wonder what the hell I’m up to and I get a lot of questions. But this is how I get my color. When the box-dye-faded brown grows out hopefully I can have hair like this!

Come on guys, really? Sweatpants and pajamas OUTSIDE the house? You have all got to be kidding me.
You look ridiculous. You look like a defeated George Costanza, and there’s nothing cute about that. Please, for the love of god just stop. Every time I see this I wonder how people could disrespect themselves and the people around them so much that they can’t be bothered to perform such a basic human function. Did I somehow miss the memo that today was Pajama Day in the spirit week of the world?
This shit is not ok. You look GROSS.

You say it’s about comfort. Um, did I just hear that right? You’re so very delicate you can’t handle real actual clothes of any kind? Time to call your mommy and have her drive you to the doctor, because that makes me think there is something very wrong with you. People in care homes dress better than this. I know, I’ve worked in one.
It’s not even JUST about looks. If it was I wouldn’t care. Your incomprehensibly bad taste is none of my business. But this is just pathetic, rude, and beyond inappropriate. It also makes me wonder how you handle having a job. That requires more than actual clothes, it requires a little dignity. It requires respect for the people around you. It requires effort, and motivation to do even more than just get dressed in the morning.

Real clothes are not that hard to do. Real clothes are not that harsh or uncomfortable. Real clothes do not mean donning a ball gown or a tuxedo. There are only a few instances when pajamas or sweatpants in public are ok. Being physically disabled, being very ill, or being at the gym. Maybe if you’ll be swinging through a drive-thru and won’t be getting out of the car you can let it slide. Oh yeah, and Pajama Day during spirit week. Knock yourselves out.

A sexy beast, this one.

Seriously guys, you look like complete idiots. Even my laid back anti-fashion husband in the ripped jeans and old tshirts gets catty and makes fun of you. A lot.
This is just beyond sad. Where exactly will we go from here? Can anybody explain this in some way that makes sense? Speak up and redeem the whole confusing group? And don’t you DARE say the word “comfortable.”

This girl knows what’s up

And P.S., those tight little buns on the tops of your heads make you look like a deranged teletubbie.
Now go on and be offended, you’re clearly very delicate.

The first thing anyone knows about me is that I am a book FREAK. I read like it’s going out of style, I love to buy books, organize books, look at books, plan my next home library upgrade, scavenge through used book stores, the smell of them, everything. So it was only natural that my dad, who as a rule only buys technological gadgets as gifts, got me a Kobo Touch for Christmas. At first, I really did not want one. I love them, I love the idea of them being compact and portable and environmentally friendly, all of that. But how could I give up REAL books? Well obviously I didn’t have to. I made a weird little compromise with myself, and as long as I’m still buying the real thing, I really do enjoy reading them on my Kobo. Now I’ve read 3.

Good stuff:

-You can adjust the font and font size. A lot of books have very tiny print, now it’s not an issue.

-I’ll never run out of anything to read. Even if for whatever reason I had to stop buying real books, I’ve downloaded about 150 or so, so I won’t run out for many years, making this one thing I would definitely want with me on a desert island. In the past this has been an issue about once or twice a year, making me resort to whatever odds and ends I could find on my shelf. This is the reason I can say I’ve read A Practical Guide to Racism, and Why Do Men Have Nipples?.

-I’m not a bath person, but if I was, I could put this in a ziploc and read in the tub. Last time I tried this with a paper book, it got all soggy. Some obsessive readers have taken it into the shower. At least I can say I’m not THAT bad.

-Ebooks are pirate-able.

-If I’m leaving the house and know I will finish a book before I get home, it no longer means I have to cram two into my bag.

-Customizing with decals and cases is fun.

-Reading life, the Kobo page that gives you your reading stats, is also moderately fun.

The Bad:

Finishing a book on the Kobo and then starting another one is really anti-climactic. It doesn’t feel like you really DID anything. You just turn the page, touch the screen, and there’s another book. I love being able to close a paper book, go add it to the shelf, and pick up another one. It doesn’t seem like a big deal, but to me it kind of is. Kobo books just don’t feel that “real” to me. The compact-ness also has that downside. It’s just not that satisfying to stare at your screen of downloads like it is to gaze lovingly at your big beautiful library shelves. There’s something lame, artificial, and wimpy about it in comparison. And you can’t play with categorizing the books on the Kobo either. They’re just alphabetical. You can’t lend books on a Kobo out, and it’s pretty stupid to will your kobo to a needy school when you die. Ok now you think I’m crazy. But I have big plans for my library. Important ones.

So now I’m doing both. I’m downloading to the Kobo and reading whatever I find available for free on there. Whatever I read on it, I go ahead and buy a used copy of the real thing to flip through and all that good stuff. When I finish it, I still get to put the real thing on the real shelf. Whatever I can’t download, I just stick with the real thing. I’m not about to pay for the same book twice. I’m enjoying this system.

So whether you love ereaders or hate them, I can see your point. If you like both, go ahead and have both

Body painting and our model for the Nutcracker Prince supplied by the incredibly talented Kim Brennen of http://www.mardigrasfaceart.com/, with the Sugar Plum Fairy’s outfit and rat tails by Chelsea Moir who is also playing the Sugar Plum Fairy. Check out our most talented group yet in person on December 20th at Pop Soda’s in Winnipeg. You won’t want to miss this!

I’ve heard some women say that the thought of seeing their own blood is gross, so they would rather not try this. But honestly how gross is putting bleached cotton inside your body to act as a moist bacteria magnet? THAT is disgusting. For me to talk about every reason why this is one of God’s gifts to women would take ages, but I will summarize here and urge you as much as I can to visit the website to learn more, and buy one right now.
It’s cheap, it’s green, it’s convenient as hell, it’s much healthier, and it absolutely WORKS. You’re welcome!

http://www.divacup.com/

Sunday night at Drawn and Plastered Stars in Pink Hawaii, I wore my first beehive. I did it myself and had it perfected and expanded by our hairstylist for the night Holly Hui. And now I want to wear one every day! Not Marge Simpson at all, it’s a super cute look and I’m its newest fan. It’s really not all that hard either. So I’ve decided to map it out. You will require: A rat, fine-toothed comb, hairspray, and the Austin Powers soundtrack.

The first thing is just to grab all the hair on the top of your head and comb it forward so it’s out of the way. This is all about the crown. This should take about a second and a half. I’ll wait.

Now, the most important thing to create a beehive is a rat, or hair filler. I mean, you don’t NEED one, but it’s a hell of a lot harder without it, and you’re more likely to end up with a rat’s nest instead. I use a long narrow rat for bumper bangs, so I curved it into a U shape with the middle facing up for this look. You can also just use a round or ball-y shaped one. A lot of people put cotton or fake/real hair into some pantyhose or a hair net for this. Bumpits are crap btw. Put your rat on the crown of your head or slightly higher in case of sagging or just to make it all the more epic. Pin it in place. Then bit by bit, take the hair from the top of your head and tease the living shit out of it, and pin it over the rat. Do this until you look like Dolly Parton. The last bit that will cover the surface should be left smooth. Then you just need pomade and a light touch with a comb to smooth the top out, and lot of hairspray. I slept in mine and it somehow actually survived, only shrinking a little. Which was perfect as I was feeling lazy and liked it and wanted to leave it up for work. Anyway, you can leave the bottom in beachy waves like Bridgette Bardot, put it in a ponytail, or for more of a Hairspray or formal look, twist it up into a French twist and tuck the ends in.
Holy crap that was easy.

This is not me, but I do feel this fabulous.

Really, it all comes down to layering. What can you add to warm up a dress, especially a vintage style one? Well, what did they wear in the vintage era? Winter didn’t just get invented. They wore girdles, sweaters, and stockings. Full skirts of course are great with a crinoline for looks AND warmth. Spanx are super cozy, while in the summer they just make my butt itch. Then you can always add a tank top/undershirt under whatever shirt/dress you’re wearing. And 50s sweaters are so adorable I don’t know why I don’t own one yet.

On the subject of stockings, they’re actually warmer than you would expect. They’re actually comparable to pants, believe it or not. But they’re a pain to replace every wearing or two because they run all the time. The answer? Fully Fashioned stockings, the kind with the back seam that require garters. They’re made the old fashioned way, and I hear they last for YEARS. I have to get me some of those. Soon.

Speaking of pants, don’t shun them. I avoid them because I feel dumpy in them (yeah, there’s something wrong with me), I don’t find them comfortable, and dresses are just too easy. But I have been looking into 40s and 50s style pants, high-waisted with a wide leg. The wide leg reminds me of some kickass comfy emo pants I had years ago, giant black things with chains. Clearly I am now too old for these. But I really miss how they felt. I’m hoping vintage style pants would feel similar, but the high waist is throwing me off. I’m probably going to check out the mall to see if I can find something I like, but if not, I think I’ll give the pants from Freddies of Pinewood and Heyday a try. Then of course I need some tops and sweaters to go with these pants.

Topping this all off, long coats are handy. It’s a luxury if you can find a long vintage fur coat that doesn’t reek of the early 90s. Vintage coats of all kinds on Etsy are extremely affordable, easily 35-60$. Tall boots are best for pencil skirts, and short fur-lined boots are adorable with fuller skirts. Check out this picture of my meme and her sisters in the 50s. Aren’t they cute? Keep in mind this is one of the coldest cities in the world, so if it’s warm enough for them, they’re warm enough for you, unless maybe you live at the north pole.

Finally, one of my favorite little accessories is the muff. They’re so pretty and so warm. You can get them very affordably on Etsy, and they’re even easy to make. You essentially just sew a pillow, one side the width of the muff, the other side the measurement you need around your hands and arms. Then sew the ends together to form a tube. You can make these in so many ways. Remember the old Clueless episode where Cher started a muff business? You can put pockets on them, cover them in faux fur, and add a rope to hang around your neck. I got a gorgeous one on Etsy a couple years ago that looks like real wolf fur. I’ll have to remember to pull that out tomorrow!

Clearly I have yet to put a dent in my winter shopping list.

I noticed that despite this being a blog mainly about style, it’s been a while since I actually wrote about CLOTHING. Maybe it’s because I’ve only just recently become somewhat adept at hair and makeup, and new things are exciting. So anyway, I decided to write about something I’ve felt quite strongly about for some time now, my love of the swing dress.
This is not a love I’ve had all my life. When I was a kid, no dress was big or poofy enough for my taste. If I dressed the way I wanted to in my fantasies, I would have needed to block off whole streets to get around. But then, I grew up. An appreciation grew in me for all things sexy, sleek, adult.

When I saw swing dresses, I thought they were horribly frou frou. They were too juvenile and too girly. I wondered how a girl could be taken seriously in them. However once I started to really explore my love of vintage style, I knew I couldn’t avoid them forever. I didn’t have to like them, but I did have to give them a chance.
And this is a perfect example of why stepping out of your comfort zone can be a great thing. I purchased two simple halter swing dresses  in blue from Trashy Diva on clearance for 35$ each, and they immediately revolutionized my wardrobe.

First of all, these particular dresses were about as simple as a plain white tshirt. They begged for some artistic expression. There’s something incredibly appealing about something you can make you own, but that already has the hard work done for you. On one of the dresses I spent days sewing a white ribbon trim an inch or so above the hem. This is now my “sailor dress”, inspired by a dress from Pinup Girl Clothing that I neither could afford nor ever saw available in my size. The second I dyed black, or at least I tried to, since it ended up coming out a dark navy. It’s just as well, because now I plan on sewing a black ribbon to the hem of that one and the two can be good and evil twins.

What I didn’t expect, but should have if I had thought about it any length of time, was how unbelievably comfortable they are. They’re hands down the least restricting thing you can wear below the waist. I feel like I have nothing on at all, and have been tempted many times to fall asleep in them. This is why I find it incredibly amusing when people are so stunned by just how “dressed up” I am to do every day normal activities. One pizza guy nearly lost his damn mind. I’d hate to see how his girlfriend dresses.

But above all else, I would have to say that the most appealing thing about the swing dress is how flattering it is on every body type. Like I’ve said about other vintage style clothes, they don’t hide your curves, they celebrate them. If you don’t have any to begin with, these dresses will create them. Either way, they’re incredibly easy to get in your size, since your hip measurement doesn’t factor in at all, perfect if you’re a different size on top than on the bottom. This is the most universally flattering and easy to wear clothing item I have ever encountered. My mom once had to poke me in the ribs to prove I wasn’t wearing a corset, while I had decided on that dress because I was planning on stuffing my face that day and knew no one would be the wiser. I scoff at people who say their hips are too big, or they’re just generally too fat. I PROMISE you, a swing dress will make you look amazing.

Then finally there’s something to be said about the fantasy factor. If you’ve ever had that familiar weirdo dream of prancing around in Victorian gear, the swing dress can give you the same feeling as being a proper civil war lady without actually looking anywhere near so odd. The way they move when you walk, the beautiful upside-down flower shape you see when you catch yourself in the mirror – all these things are the subtle little somethings that make swing dresses make me feel good. Even when I’m not in the mood for one on a particular day, if it’s all I have to wear and I put it on anyway, it still makes me feel pretty, still puts me in a better mood, so I wonder how I ever could have considered putting on anything else.
So now the formerly anti-frou-frou me is slowly building up a collection. I just got my first true vintage swing dress a couple weeks ago, a gorgeous copper number probably from the early 1960s.

Even if you have any doubts, try one, just once. Get it cheap, because it’s easy, or make one, because that’s easy too. You’ll see. I’ve seen this change of heart happen in others besides myself, and you’ll probably see it in yourself too.